Finding Comfort: Ways to Deal with Grief During the Holidays

The holiday season is often painted as a time of year filled with joy — warm gatherings, sparkling lights, full tables, and happy memories. However, for many the holidays also bring a sense of loss. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but these are some of the ways I have found to deal with grief during the holidays.

When someone you love is no longer here, the season can feel heavy, especially during that first holiday season. It isn’t that in later years you don’t feel it, but during that first year, everything seems to catch you off guard. 

Because the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Day, etc.) are full of family gatherings and traditions, grief often grows louder. The traditions you used to share, that stinking empty chair at the table, the songs that once brought laughter may now bring feelings of sadness.

If this is you, you are not alone in this grief journey. 

Grief and joy can exist together, and it’s okay to carry both.

Here are some loving and practical ways to navigate grief during the holidays, while honoring your heart, your loved ones, and your memories.

Please keep in mind that all people experience grief differently. Some of these may be helpful for you while others need a different way to deal with it. You will each need to find your own way of handling the grief process.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

You don’t have to force holiday cheer or pretend you’re okay.

You don’t have to “be strong.”

Grief has no schedule, the grief triggers can sneak up on you before you know it. Allow yourself to experience grief:

• Cry if you need to.
• Step away when things feel overwhelming.
• Experience moments of joy without guilt.
• Give yourself grace.

Waves of grief come and go without making sense. This post was actually planned for last year, but I couldn’t do it at that time. This year it came right together. Listen to your emotions.

Your feelings are real and worthy of compassion.

Create a Small Tradition in Their Honor

Honoring your loved one can bring a sense of closeness rather than emptiness. Consider doing something simple and meaningful, such as:

• Hanging a special ornament with their name
• Making their favorite recipe
• Sharing favorite memories or stories about them
• Giving back to someone in honor of them
• Setting aside a moment of quiet prayer or reflection

These gestures or even new traditions help keep their memory alive in love, not in sorrow.

Adjust Your Holiday Plans if Needed

If your heart needs a slower season, that is okay. 
This might mean:

• Saying no to certain gatherings or holiday events
• Doing smaller or simpler celebrations instead of large social events
• Spending time at home
• Asking others for support

There is no right way to do the holidays while grieving. There is only the way that feels best for you right now.

Again, remember that everyone handles grief differently. What is right for you may not be what others in the family need. Some people may feel the need to stay busy and active – that is okay too.

Lean on Faith and Scripture

Honestly, I have no idea how people handle grief without the Lord’s help. He is the One Who will literally carry you through the hard feelings of loss.

God is close to the brokenhearted, and He is especially near during the holidays.

Here are a few verses of comfort:

Let these scriptures wrap around you like a warm blanket.

When those feelings of grief are the strongest, call out to the Lord, and let Him hold you.

Share Your Heart With Someone You Trust

Grief tries to make us feel isolated, but you don’t have to walk through it alone. You may just need a little extra support during this difficult season.
This could be:

• Close friends
• Family members
• A pastor
• Grief support groups
• A counselor
• Professional Help

Talking about your loss does not make it heavier; it allows some of the weight to lift.

Take Care of Your Body While You Care for Your Heart

The emotional weight of grief also affects the body. Simple care can make an incredible difference:

• Drink water throughout the day.
• Get fresh air, even for a few minutes.
• Eat small, nourishing meals.
• Rest when you are able.
• Spend a little time in sunlight.
• Take a walk if the weather is nice.

These small things help restore your strength from the inside out.

Look for Beauty All Around You

Even in seasons of grief, there can still be moments of beauty. Take notice of:

• A morning sunrise 
• A familiar hymn
• A handwritten note
• The sunset in the evening
• A memory that makes you smile

These are gifts – reminders that love is still here.

A Few Practical Tips

Even after the first year, there are times of grief that just seem to come out of nowhere. I remember having a full meltdown one day in the grocery store of all places, just because I saw a certain brand of chocolate milk! Those waves are hard to predict.

However, there are times that you can anticipate being hard, so you can get ahead of them:

• Decorating the Christmas tree
• Watching favorite holiday movies
• Carrying out certain family traditions or holiday activities
• Family dinners

Whatever that looks like for you, here are a few things I found that help:

• Stay in the present moment with the people around you. It is a hard mindset to get into, but it helps.
• Listen to favorite music that is more upbeat. I have found that I can purposely start listening to sad music for whatever reason. That is fine for a time, but not if you are trying to avoid intense emotions for a specific time or event.
• Think about what you will be doing ahead of time. For example, don’t let seeing familiar Christmas ornaments throw you off – expect them.
• ​If all else fails, drink some coffee! It sounds crazy, but the caffeine does help keep you a little more upbeat. I try to have a Nitro Cold Brew before putting the decorations on the tree.🌲☕️ 

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You Are Not Alone

If you feel like sharing with me, I would love to pray for you. Feel free to reach out to me, and I will pray for you throughout the upcoming holidays.

Let’s make it the most wonderful time of the year for ourselves, our families, and the ones we are missing.

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Grief, whether it is a recent loss or it has been several years, can be very difficult, especially during the holidays. Remember that grief is a sign of love. The stronger the love, the stronger the grief. I love that! 

If you are on a grief journey, may I encourage you? Grief and joy can still be present at the same time. Allow the Lord to be your source of comfort and bring you joy in this especially difficult time. 

Related Posts

Is it Possible to Grieve with Grace and Joy
Can We Grow through Grief: A Spiritual Journey
Spiritual Peace from a Cypress Tree

Until next time,

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“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18